Saying Goodbye to Move Onto Our Boat

Saying goodbye to friends and family to pursue a calling is painful. You can’t escape that. All you can do is try to cope in a healthy way.

I had a really nice, cushy life. Up until a month ago, I had a great apartment on a riverfront park in a swanky neighborhood in Dallas. I was surrounded by friends and family that love me. I had a damn cushy job where I essentially had enough personal and emotional capital to run my department of one pretty much how I saw fit. I had a regular yoga studio and a meditation center where we had weekly brain trust time. In five days, I am leaving everything and everyone I care about to go live on a boat.

It Really Is Hard to Say Goodbye

I’ve said more goodbyes in the last week than I care to talk about. I’ve got a couple of more important ones to go. You know, I thought I’d be all chipper about it. I thought I’d feel excited that my life was about to blast me out of the cannon into the wild blue yonder. I thought I’d be able to lounge on the good choices and good planning we’ve done over the last two years, confident in my path.

I don’t feel confident today. I just feel sad. Like I’ve ripped the rug out from under my own feet.

I want to take it back. I want all my stuff back. I want my job back. I take it all back. I’ll give the boat back, just let me stay in the cocoon! It’s warm and comfortable here. I like it. It’s cozy and safe. I’ll be wet and tired and incompetent on a boat. I don’t know how to change the oil in a diesel engine! I don’t know how to stand watch or cook underway! What was I thinking?

The Truth About Leaving Everything and Everyone

I’m sad. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m worried…I practice. Yoga comes in handy in times like these. Breathe. Feel my butt in the chair. The air on my skin. Breathe. I breathe in. Exhale. I breathe out.

A friend asked me today if I was ready. And, I told him, “whether I’m ready or doesn’t matter. We’re leaving in five days.” I’m squeezing out of my cocoon, ready or not. I can feel it. My heart aches…and I’m ready.